Leave is a small word for a concept as big as Leaving

Either people leave you or you leave people. World is a big pandora's box of troubles which doesn't believe in rules that can break. It just warps reality to create an illusion for you.

I haven't lived at any one place, in my whole life of 22 years, more than what I spent in my college at Kharagpur. 5 Years. The Doomsday Clock now stands at 5 minutes to midnight. 5 years is a long time. Years ago when I came to this place, it was a long journey I had embarked upon. And now it all seems so sudden, so brutal.

We make friends and then we leave. This place laughs on me. And I laugh back louder. Our friendship will remain forever.

It hurts me but makes me strong

The unnoticed breath heaving my voice
and the sand of time I held tight
in my palm, It gives me a bruise
I weep inside and pray
Who do I hurt when I go away? Who
The man who smiled at me
or the girl who had so much to say
or the towering light that showed me the way.

And then I cry
regretting all the things I couldn't do
stopping at all the trees which didn't flower
And all the long roads I didn't take
crossing the shortcuts instead.

And then I shout
freeing my mind
emptying my soul
trying hard to console

And then I smile
for how lucky I am..
for how proudly I can sing that song
that this is the place where I belong.

It hurts me but makes me strong.

This lightens my heart and I think writing blogs definitely helps. Thanks. :) The pic is of
Scholars Avenue taken on the last night of Spring Fest 2007

The Blackout

It came a third time in my life. I would like to call it Near Life Experiences. Someone said to me a few days back. Optimism oozes out of me.

9:30 AM (-0330 hours)
Woke up from the knock at my room's door. Sachin had given me 15 minutes to be ready for the Kolkata trip. We had planned a darshan at Dakshineswar Temple. Hesitant but knowing there was nothing much to do during the day, it took me about 40 minutes to prepare myself and reach the gang with Nari and Sachin. Varun & Nammo, Vasundhara & Bhaiya had eaten some grub and were waiting for us.

"Mujhe bhookh lagee hai. Bahot saara khaana khayenge."

Bright sunny day with cool breeze and a Sumo speeding on the highway. A perfect day for travelling. With Nammo and Varun, it wasn't the perfect place to be at the back seats of the Sumo. I should have left the couple alone. But habits as they are do not go away that easy. And I was happy with the bright cool day, thinking of starting a new life.

"Aaj se ek nayi zindagi ki shuruaat karte hain."

Nammo is cute...

It may be attributed partially to the feeling that a pretty girl was sitting in front of me with a guy who is one of my dearest friends. Ate at Sher-e-Punjab. Nice Masala Dosa, Sambar Vada and loads of laughter.

12:30 PM (-0030 hours)
And we reached Vasundhara's Place. Everything was as planned. I felt sleepy. Slept on the floor watching television. Sachin was hopping channels.

"Yahan ESPN ya Star Sports nahin aata hai".

Vasundhara dressed pretty for the doctor. She was running a viral for the past three days. And we started to move ahead with our busy schedule.

01:00 PM (0000 hours)
Descending the stairs, as I moved on the second flight and the third tread, my $100 Adidas shoe slipped. Along with the shoe, I slipped too and went on slipping for the next 7-8 treads. A few bruises. And I stood up.

"Abey ye camera dekh toh chal raha hai na."

I gave my $350 camera to Sachin asking him to check it, gave a glance at the fateful shoes and sat down on the stairs.

"Sab kuch theek hai. Everything is fine."

Holding my head in my hands, I sat there. And then BLACKOUT.

I don't remember anything except the last few seconds before I woke up when everything was dark for me and then the sudden realisation that someone was trying to wake me up. Varun screaming.

"Himadri saans le saans le....".

For a moment I felt as if I had woken up from a dream. And then the sudden realisation that I had fallen down the stairs. A smile on my face. I had no idea of time.

"Uff. Kitni der tak tha yeh."

They say it was for about 30 seconds. I hugged Varun hard. I will never forget that moment all my life. The blood that couldn't flow in my brains for 30 seconds. And then the flow again pumping me with a new life.

(+hours)

Well they are smart and cute too....

We went on to watch an equally depressing movie. Life in a Metro. But I was happy at the feeling of atleast watching something. Compensated it with a drive to Dakshineshwar Temple.

And me naah.. I am a donkey

Heard the Arti bells. And waited in line for the darshan. One stop spiritual enlightenment. I talked to God and waited. He didn't reply to a few of my questions. Said, "Maybe next time." Ate at Pizza Hut. Four courses in a record time. We were hungry, very hungry. Waited on the road divider on the benches clicking photographs of Nammo and Varun, Nari and Sachin, myself and .... Bhaiya came and we left for Kharagpur. The taxi driver drove as fast as he could. But the night wasn't just any other night. It was the first night of my new life.


I talked with Nammo. Infact, she talked and I participated. She is so lovely, you need to just wait and listen. I will blog about her sometime. The tyre got punctured and we had to wait for more than 3 hours on the highway. Nari slept on the highway floor, Varun slept in the trunk, Bhaiya slept on the front seat, Nammo in the middle seats.


Me and Sachin didn't sleep. Because we had a lot on our minds and also because there was no space left. Sachin clicked 183 photographs from my camera. And I recorded a few monologues on my voice recorder. Mine were really careless and his photographs were really good. Finally, after a frustrating night for a new life, we left to cover the rest of the distance. We reached Kharagpur when the next tyre got punctured. We took another taxi but were stuck at a railway crossing. Waited for the goods train to pass. Next railway crossing. Stuck again. Leaving the couple behind, Sachin, Nari, Bhaiya and me crossed the tracks and reached IIT Gates, my door to salvation, attainment of nirvana.


Thinking about the happenings of my two lives, I realise a few things have changed. One thing that hasn't changed is me and my friends who will be a treasure to me forever. The blackout was a small incident and will be so unless I blog about it and make it something big in my life. Afterall, I had two more blackouts earlier in my life. It is not something that has never happened. But these friends have happened to me for the first time. I love you guys.

I have always shied away from posting photographs on my blog. I will from now on. I have nothing to fear.

Raju Ban Gayaa Gentleman

The AmriKa Effect: Raju Nema Ban Gayaa Gentleman!

Remember a nerdy creature of our wing RKCGE, namely Nema, formally Gaurav Nema?
Try to recollect his image. (I know it becomes hard with time)
Got some vague idea?

Skinny
clean shaved
tall and cocky (academically)

always sober

and too much hesitating.

Well, Amrika changes people but we never considered him one of 'people'. For us he was a care-not-nerd, who irritates his friends by dangling his hand on their shoulder and by forcing them listen his non-vegetarian tasteless jokes and fantasies.

But things changes without mutation too. Nema is in a rock-star look now.

(Before AmriKa)

Kgpian Nema: Sober and Sound

(After AmriKa. Click the image to see Full Image)

GaTechian Nema: Luxurious and Live

AMRIKA ROX !